3 Tips for Building Confidence During Lifestyle Shifts

As I disrobed in front of the photographer last week at my photoshoot, I took a moment to reflect on how I got here. Just a little over two years ago, I would never allow myself to be naked in front of a stranger I wasn’t getting intimate with, let alone have them take photos of me nude that I would be sharing publicly. Somewhere along my body transformation journey, I built up the confidence to be bold, but how exactly did I do that? It wasn’t an overnight shift or a huge “a-ha!” moment, that’s for sure. But there’s no denying that I see myself completely differently than I ever have before.

Steve photographed by Rick Waid, 1/14/26

I’ve reflected on my secrets to building confidence during lifestyle shifts over the past week, and here are the three most significant ways that I’ve identified helped me create that shift from seeing my body with shame and disgust to confidence and pride. Hopefully they can help others build their confidence up, as well.

Small Shifts Over Time

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was my confidence and self-love. Going from shame and disgust at my reflection to love and acceptance was an epic journey of small shifts over time. I had tried drastic overnight lifestyle shifts in the past, such as fad diets or intense exercise regimens, but they never lasted longer than a couple of days or weeks before I faltered and gave up. Quick fixes were hard on my body, but even tougher on my spirit. I hated depriving or punishing myself for the state my health was in, and when I slipped, I felt like I had failed, slashing my confidence down to even smaller bits than it was previously.

This time my approach was different. I knew there were a myriad of lifestyle shifts I needed to adjust- I needed to move my body more, I needed to get stronger, I needed to eat healthier, and I needed to take care of my mental and medical health. However, the idea of doing all of that overnight felt insurmountable to me, so instead I made these shifts in stages. 

First, I handled my mental health through therapy and life coaching. I worked through my mindset about my health and my body, along with my resistance to exercise or changing my habits for the better. Then, I began with cardio, with the simple goal of moving my body for 20 minutes a day. As I succeeded at that goal, it shifted to longer periods of movement until I found a sustainable routine that left me feeling good about my progress. After that was a habit I felt confident in, I began incorporating resistance training (weights) into my routine- starting with a couple days a week as I adjusted to my program, and then increased its frequency as I felt more comfortable in that environment. My nutrition came next, starting with small shifts like avoiding emotional eating and then adjusting my snacking before I worked my way up to nutritious meals. 

None of these changes happened overnight- they were progressive, manageable steps that I could take over time. These shifts felt possible, acceptable, and less intimidating than the drastic measures I attempted in the past, and as I achieved these small goals that I set for myself, my confidence increased.

You don’t need to do everything at once to move forward!

I had to learn how to love myself, imperfections and all.

Progress Over Perfection

I learned about the concept of progress over perfection in my recovery programs, but found this same approach to be extremely effective at building my confidence during my lifestyle shifts. I am far from a perfect person, and I knew that going on this health journey, there would likely be setbacks. Were there days I missed my workouts? YES! Were there meals or snacks I indulged in that didn’t line up with my goals? HECK YES! But did I fall into despair over these hectic days or binges and give up? HELL NO!

I learned to treat myself with kindness and realize that setbacks are not failures. Rather than punish myself for a slip, I got curious to understand what caused them. If an appliance in your house broke down, would your solution be to set the entire house on fire? I hope not! Instead, you ideally inspect the appliance, understand what caused the breakdown, and repair it. This is the same approach I took with my slip-ups, and it led to a greater understanding of self.

Also, instead of feeling guilt and shame over these moments, I gave myself the grace to acknowledge we all make mistakes, and believed in myself that I could still move past them and continue my journey to reach my goals. My confidence came not out of executing my plan perfectly, but from returning to the plan when I faltered instead of deviating from it entirely. Being able to mess up while firmly believing “I know I’ll bounce back” allowed me to feel strong and sure of myself.

My mind can be a major asshat- can yours?

Facts Over Feelings

I don’t know about your mind, but mine can be a major asshat to me at times. Even today, in my more vulnerable moments, I’ll catch myself thinking things about myself that I would never, EVER think or feel or say about anyone else that I know. That’s why one of the most important things I did for myself during this body transformation journey was to log as much data as I possibly could. 

I would take selfies of myself in the mirror, even when I couldn’t stand to look at them. I would weigh myself and track metrics like body fat percentage and muscle mass, even when the numbers made me cringe. I would log how much I walked or ran or jogged, and then how much weight I was lifting in each exercise, even when I was confident that a twelve-year-old child could outperform my performance. I’d jot down every meal or snack I would eat, even when the calories and fat content were staggeringly high. Keeping track of all of this seemed inconsequential at first, but in the end this ended up being my saving grace when it came to building self-confidence.

How did all this tracking help me? Because, in those moments where my asshat brain would tell me things like “you aren’t doing enough; this isn’t working; is it even worth it; you’re still the same person you were a few months ago,” I had the ammunition locked and loaded to prove it wrong. When I felt insecure about my body, I could compare pictures of myself to the older photos and notice there *was* a change. When I felt like I was “getting fat” again, I could look at my metrics and see my body fat was going down while my muscle mass was going up. When I felt like I was weak, I could look at my numbers from the gym and see I *was* getting stronger. When I was about to kick myself for eating a giant slice of cake, I could look back at my food diary and see that I was, overall, making much healthier nutrition decisions most of the time. All this data offered proof of my progress when my emotions would tell me otherwise. Looking back now helps remind me of how far I’ve come.

Conclusion

In the end, these are the habits that I believe led to my success in building enough confidence to believe in myself and put myself out there. I’ve learned that confidence isn’t a destination- it’s a relationship you build with yourself- and like every relationship, it has its rocky moments, but we push through and are stronger because of them.

By making small shifts over time, showing self-compassion, and trusting evidence over emotion, I love myself and my body more today than I ever have in my past 39 rotations around the sun, so remember this: You don’t need to feel confident to get started. Confidence follows consistent action.

Are you ready to take action, but unsure of where to start? Reach out to me at steve@gymbestfriends.com and I’d be happy to help provide some additional insights.

And yes, in some of the photos, I even had my clothes on!